almost witty

Until I can figure out crossposting again, you'll find my posts on almostwitty.com !

While browsing through the various status updates on Facebook last night, I noticed that Jonathan Stephen Ross had started updating his Facebook status update, to the effect that he was going to spend a night in watching Sex And The City on DVD, and what "awesomeness" would ensue. Which, when you have newspaper headlines every day calling for your head on a plate, is probably just as well.

Cue at least 20 comments around the status update, basically all agreeing that this Jonathan Stephen Ross fellow was nothing more than a fake, because they'd all just read his new autobiography, and he'd never use words like awesomeness.

Thus forcing Jonathan to post a mobile pic on his Facebook proving that he was settling down to watch the shenaigans of four over-privileged but feisty and sexy girls in New York. (My favourite one is Miranda, for obvious reasons).

Meanwhile, over on Twitter, James Cridland has an interesting post about how one recommendation from Stephen Fry creates a wave of people all stampeding to buy a piece of iPhone software.

Ahhh the power of celebrity. Now if only I could find that audio clip from Stephen Fry lauding me as the future of broadcasting. (It was recorded some 13 years ago, to be fair)

A former music writer colleague of mine once told me that the great thing about new music was that it was always there for you, when you were ready.

Given that my last CD purchases of simple pop bands Alphabeat and Scouting For Girls drew sustained moaning from my music-loving neighbour, it's patently high time that I stopped hearing new music via music video channels, and had my musical horizons somewhat expanded. Fortunately, my friend muzikfiend is visiting from the States, with a declared intention to spend a week going to as many music concerts and clubs as possible, so I thought I'd join her.

So first off was Sneaky Sound System at the Koko. I'd heard pretty much nothing about them, so was pleasantly surprised to find a popular energetic electro-pop-dance band from Australia with a couple of catchy songs that I still can't forget.

Next, it was Ladytron at the Shepherds' Bush Empire. I have listened to, and liked a couple of their songs before so I was looking forward to it, but was "super non-impressed", as muzikfiend puts it. It seemed as if they had no passion, no desire to be there - they were just going through the very bored motions, and they didn't play their more popular tunes. However, the crowd around me seemed to love it, so it was probably just me not attuned to their cold ways.

Now, onwards to an impromptu club tour of London

So... the membership list for the British National Party (a far-right fascist party advocating the consensual repatriation for non-Europeans from British soil ... oh, and giving the 2012 London Olympics back to Greece) has been leaked all over the Internet, and British geeks have been soiling themselves all day mashing the list.

So now I can see that my area of London (which also happens to encompass the BBC's Television Centre) has 7 members - more than any other West London postcode. Other websites have managed to pinpoint with far greater accuracy the data, despite the learned frownings and warnings from many a political/tech geek.

My question is: what's all the fuss about? Surely if you're going to donate money to be a member of a political party or lobby group, you are de facto agreeing to most of that political organisation's aims and ideals, and therefore you should also be proud to identify with them? Give £200 to a political party, and your name is publically registered against that donation. If I were a member of any political organisation, I'd expect my name to be listed against it, and presume that it's published somewhere.

Whether Labour, the Conservatives, No2ID, Plaid Cymru or any other group publish their membership list publically or not, I don't know. But I can't see why they shouldn't, in the interest of transparency. And the same would go for the BNP. Or the Communist Party. If nothing else, it'd stop those "Are you now, or have you ever been, a member of the Communist Party?"-type questions.

Now, tell me why I'm wrong.

Courtesy of kottke.org, the following facts:

Listening to 1982's Michael Jackson's Thriller in 2008 is equivalent to listening to Elvis Presley's Blue Suede Shoes, Hound Dog, and Love Me Tender - all released in 1956.

Listening to Nirvana's Smells Like Teen Spirit today is equivalent to playing Terry Jack's Seasons In The Sun (1974) in 1991.

Watching Star Wars today is like watching It's a Wonderful Life (1946) in 1977.

Watching The Godfather today is like watching Charlie Chaplin's Modern Times (1936) in 1972. Modern Times was a silent film (Chaplin's last).

Back to the Future (1985) --> To Kill a Mockingbird (1962)

Die Hard (1988) --> Bullitt (1968)

Radiohead, OK Computer (1997) --> Bon Jovi, Slippery When Wet (1986)

As anyone who's tried to learn a language will know, the conversations in language books tend to be extremely dull, anodyne and bear little resemblance to reality.

For a twist, how about having a Norwegian woman with a false moustache and breastplate,
talking to herself in Cantonese about getting to a whorehouse (and ordering chicken)...

(spotted via british-chinese.blogspot.com)

Sky News: Superg-Looed: Man Stuck To Toilet

and as usual, Americans find a twist:

Sky News: Woman Cut Free After Two Years On Loo

Can't wait to see how the Chinese manage to top that one...

Jacqui Smith, the British Home Secretary, has today stated that "I regularly have people coming up to me and saying they don't want to wait that long" (for ID cards to be issued to every British citizen).

I'd love to get a list of these people. After all, if they're perfectly happy for the British government - run by civil servants with a nasty habit of mailing CDs with details of 25 million people in the post that disappear, losing over 100 memory sticks and portable hard drives - to have their personal details on file at any time, I'm sure they won't mind the rest of us having at least their name.

Seriously, what kind of deranged fool would say "Hello Home Secretary. I want a way to prove my identity. It's not enough for me to use my bank card, driving licence or passport to prove my identity, and I keep opening so many bank accounts all the time it's tiresome for me to keep dragging these documents around with me at all times. Instead, I'd love all my details to be stored on a small credit card which I could easily lose - and which I'd pay £30 for myself".

And never mind stealth - ID cards are already mandatory for foreigners who want to live in the UK - which isn't exactly good news.

Fortunately, Labour seem to be the only advocated of an ID card - the Conservatives and Liberal Democrats say they'd scrap the scheme. and I really hope they don't change their minds. But just to make sure, I'd suggest joining No2ID...

Blimey. I really didn't think America would elect a non-white person as President. I really didn't think it was possible. The dice was stacked against him. After all:

- It's a nation that voted twice for that international joke, Dubya. TWICE.
- A generation ago, I don't think black people were even allowed to sit down in Washington D.C. ?
- There's a national economic crisis. During a crisis, people's usual instincts are to protect their own - hell, Britain's cutting the numbers of immigrants it allows in because of the recession.
- Obama seems clever, intellectual, almost slightly aloof, not someone you could have a beer witha nd talk about the Sonics (or whatever). And when was the last time America elected a clever President?

So gosh darn it, now I can't blame the lack of success in my life because I is not white. or black. On the other hand, one of my friends - who won't date outside of her race - still wouldn't shag Obama. So latent racism is still alive!

The more I read about Obama's life, the more I'm amazed he got to Harvard, let alone anywhere else. Now he's the US equivalent of Blair - arrives in office after almost a decade of slowly stagnated rule, with ludicrously high expectations. And it worked for Blair for a while - at least till Iraq happened.

And hey, maybe a re-assessment of America's place in the world and a return to less consumer-ist times would mean things like the technically perfect, editorially disastrous and utterly pointless CNN hologram wouldn't happen...

I almost want to say poor McCain. For a Republican candidate, he wasn't that bad - he could have been a whole lot worse. But it sounds like the party lobby just strangled his maverickness at birth.

I've got one - maybe two - tickets to see Russell T. Davies in conversation at the National Theatre, London on Friday night. Shout if you're interested!